Do I like spontaneously romantic gestures? Hell yes. Can anything that happens on an industry-fabricated holiday known for spewing sad clichés on the back of a plastic menu ever be spontaneously romantic? I believe you will find your answer within the question.
Unexpected champagne by the moonlight = good.
Dinner in a restaurant full of uncomfortable looking people staring into the middle distance = get me outta here.
However, the world seems to be full of sappy souls who are perfectly happy to allow Hallmark to lay down the law as to when they should be romantic and how. You know, like romance is a switch that can be turned on and off.
The truly witty commercial valentine’s day gift is a rare animal. If it exists, it looks something like this.
But let’s face it, most of you will opt to pay tribute to the inner whore in you/your partner, rather than succumbing to a gesture of quirky sentimentality. Usually tribute is paid with something like this.
Or maybe even this:
Sometimes, marriage material and respect for the mind come packaged in one,weird combo such as this, a Huffington Post find:
Conclusion: Valentine’s Day does not celebrate love. It celebrates everything that is fake and crass in our nature. If you wanna romance your partner, take them on an all-expenses paid trip to Mauritius next month. Now that is true romance.